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31st May 2007

Simpsons Porno Movie

Prologue

***

“You sexy thing, sexy thing. I believe in miracles…”, sang the radio along with a happy Homer, driving home from work. He parked the car and entered him home. The kids were watching TV and Marge was taking meals out of the oven. Having heard the door close, she shouted “Kids! Diner!” That night, the Simpsons were having chicken, except Lisa of course, who was having tofu.

-So then, Bart said, Mrs. Krabapple turned to the board and I used my last elastic to hit her glass of coffee, which made it tip and fall over our exams. I guess we’ll have to do it again, but now, I know what to study.

-And you, what did you do?

-We received the notes from our last exam. I got an A++… but of course, Alison had an A+++. Stupid Alison, Lisa said under her breath.

-Oh, Homer started, by the way honey, Mr. Smithers is coming to visit us tonight. He says he wants to talk about something important concerning the family. He didn’t mention what though.

***

Later that evening, Waylon Smithers arrived. They all sat in the dinning room, except Maggie who was sleeping upstairs.

-Ok, as I come here, know that this doesn’t concern your job at the power plant. This is on my own terms. Even Mr. Burns doesn’t know. Actually, this might be the one thing he doesn’t know about me.

They all looked at each other, meaning “yeah, that and the fact that you’re gay.”

-I come with a proposition. I’ve interacted quite often with your family and find it quite charming. On my time off, I built a company, Snurb Corporation, which is registered and legal. Officially, it researches pharmaceutics products, but it never saw the light of any medical stuff. Actually, it deals with underground pornography.

He waited until their obvious shock passed. They always are, he thought, but they always see the light.

-I very well understand your reaction, but believe me, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

-Get to the point, said Bart.

Waylon took a deep breath before blurting out the whole truth about why he was there.

-Homer, I would like you and your family to make pornographic videos.

Marge’s voice covered the rest: WHAT?!

-I understand your concern Mrs. Simpson, and…

-And nothing! I want you out of my house, NOW!

-Please, if you would just let me explain.

-Homer, show him the door. She didn’t shout anymore, but her voice was ice cold. Homer had rarely seen her so angry and he knew the best was to obey, for the time being at least.

-This way Mr. Smithers.

Homer followed Smithers to his car.

-Well, I’ve got your wife’s answer, but what did you thing, Homer?

-I don’t know… how much does it pay?

-5000 dollars for your first movie, if it’s what I’m interested in.

-5000?! That’s a lot of money!

-And easy money too… Look, I see your wife in the window looking at me and quite frankly, I’m scared of her. Here’s my card, call me on my beeper anytime, day or night.

Smithers slipped a card to Homer before taking off in his red convertible. Homer hummed while looking at the card, reading: Waylon Smithers, CIO of Snurb Corporation.
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31st May 2007

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30th May 2007

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30th May 2007

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